Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Owned

He started in the living room, playing with me, turning me on. Turning me on a lot. I wanted to cum. I asked permission, he said no. But he continued to play. He liked that I had asked. Of course.

Actually, he'd really been working up to it all week. Preparing my body, my nipples for this day. Working them over a fair bit, just day by day. 

I was in a bit of a daze, so turned on, that's probably why I asked for more. I don't usually unless he makes me, but oh I wanted more.

Suddenly he seemed to decide it was time to get down to business. He ordered me upstairs, dropped me to my knees and clamped my tits.

From sweet and sexual to brutal in 60 seconds.

I was shocked I guess.

Damn, I'm always shocked when those clamps go on anyway, but I was shocked by the change in mood too.

I didn't think he was mad at me or annoyed or anything, just that he had his Sadist on and wanted what he wanted.

I felt owned.

Controlled.

Anxious about how long it might last, where he'd go next.

Submissive to following wherever it went.

Was I wearing my collar? I don't remember. Maybe. I think so.

Was there sexual play while we were there? I don't remember. Probably. Because there usually is. But I don't remember.

I remember kneeling there. Practically crying. Feeling owned by him, and glorying in it.

I think he came on me.

That doesn't sound like I was very "present" does it?

Sunday, July 20, 2014

It's Funny Cause It's True

The undeniable truh about men & women

Respecting the Rules

We were talking this morning about "the letter of the law", about rules and their meanings and how I follow them.

He's kind of stern about rules. Ummm, that might be an understatement. He's very stern about rules. If he says he wants things done 3 times he wants them done 3 times. Not 2. And not 4 either. 3.

If he says don't do something, he means don't do it at all. He doesn't mean sometimes, or do less of it, or don't do it where I know he's going to see it, or anything like that. He means don't do it.

Sometimes I hate the rules he sets, and they are often negotiable, as long as that negotiation is done respectfully. He'll discuss just about anything and he'll continue to discuss it, though it may be just about impossible to change his mind after the first discussion.

Sometimes I'm just sulky about things which shows him that I didn't like the rule and I don't want to do it. And he ignores the sulkiness or gets annoyed. Negotiating after I've been sulky doesn't work as well. (Duh!)

If he found me sneaking around doing something he had told me not to do he'd be furious and there would be all kinds of hell to pay.


Saturday, July 19, 2014

Relationship

He's away right now, and sometimes that makes us bad. But this time, thank goodness, it isn't.

I think partly because (mostly because?) I'm in such a sweet and submissive state of mind.

Right now, I seem to be drinking it all down as fast as I can, submission, humiliation, obedience, the works.

Yes Sir, yes Sir, anything you want Sir.

Too bad he can't bottle that and feed it to me at times when I'm not great with it.

But right now, right now, it's good. I feel like I adore him. I even (shhhhh) feel like I worship him. Which is pretty damn rare.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Thursday's Task

Hello Sir,

Just a short paragraph (as ordered) to tell you about yesterday's task at work.

I spent a lot of the afternoon focused on other things, but had pretty much finished them all by the time i went to do this task. I went into the women's washroom about 3 and there was someone in there, so I left and went back about 3:30 i think. I might be off a little with the times.

I went into the stall, pulled up my skirt and pulled down my panties (the pleated skirt is very full and silky, and has two layers and was a bit of a pain to hold out of the way, I know you like that kind of thing) and licked my finger and went to work on my clit, rubbing and stroking and trying to get myself turned on. 
It was a bit... umm... clinical i guess, because it was so purposefully just about turning myself on to obey the order. And yet as I worked away at it, I did get turned on, to about a 7 as ordered, and then I stopped, as ordered. 
I wanted to use the little buzzing vibe i had in my purse but I didn't as you had ordered just fingers. 

So I got to where i was supposed to be and then stopped, pulled up my panties, pulled down my skirt and went back to work wanting.

Thank you for the task Sir,

Your sweet little slut

Friday, July 11, 2014

Relationships

Sometimes our relationship is so perfect, so perfectly what I want.

I'm His

Some days he's so amazing, and I absolutely adore him and I would do anything for him.

I know what makes that connection.

It's serving him, being allowed to be submissive to him, to be ordered by him. It makes me want more, more, more.

Which all makes me sound like I'm some kind of crazy. And usually I'm not.

But sometimes...

Yeah.

I'm his. 

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Intro

So frustrating sometimes, to go from place to place, feeling like a gypsy.

Sometimes it feels like there are more frustrations than not.

And that's my first post.

Frustrated. Angry. Incomprehensible.